An Excerpt from

Love in the Time of Covid-19

by Ðabriel Çosé ŊarŒez

Perhaps my love is a kind of stupid love?

I have always loved Spike Śpence. Which is why I, in turn, fell in love with Indiana and that song about moonlight on the Wabash and something blowing through the fields that gets deep down in your lungs. And now I have even more reason to love Indiana Spike: for spearheading our nation’s effort to protect us from this coronavirus cold kinda thing going around.

Let’s say I get this cold-like thing: I could see ole Spike standing there at my bedside with a box of soft tissues, a bowl of Indiana pea soup, a couple of cough-and-cold tablets, a glass of water, a smile on his kindly face and love in his eyes saying really encouraging things like, “Go get ‘em, tiger.” Yes, Indiana Spike will git ‘er done.

At least, after he gets started. But he’s a busy man.

How many of the left-wingers in this country have you heard say that facial recognition and a gangster-run surveillance state were bad things? Well, look at how all that’s come in handy for tamping down panic over there in China. That’s Xi Jinping for you. Isn’t he doing a great job? I just love Xi. And Mao. And Deng and that scene in “I Recover the Waterfront” where the dead Chinese guy falls out of that huge fish hanging by it’s tail on that ship in whatever harbor that was. Yes, I love them all.

And of course, Stevie Munchkin: I love the guy so much! Look how he’s helping by making sure we all know this so-called pandemic is just another plot by the deep state to make our Florida-sun-kissed president look bad. It’s not an epidemic, it’s a love-fest. In fact, I think our President Wuhan Don is so much about love – and not weaponizing anything – that I expect him to soon be hosting a new love-based TV show called “America’s Got Covid-19.” Lot’s of laughs. Lots of pathos. Lots of fun for everybody.

Covid-19? You see, this is just one of the many variations on the common cold: flu, SARS, MERS, COPD, lung cancer, Alzheimer’s, dehydration due to diarrheal diseases, tuberculosis, hit-and-run death by drunk driver, getting hit by an IED in Iraq. Which is why we really don’t need a health care system at all, just love, unless you want to believe those assholes of the deep state with their fake news and their fake diseases.

Ah, but what about the stock market? Look what this little cold thing has done to people’s investments? Come on now. The stock market is the best it’s ever been – even better than it was in the late 1920’s.

What can I do to protect myself from this fake disease? Well, you don’t need to do anything. There’s no reason to switch from eating real bats to the new 100% vegetarian “Improbable Bats” – that’s just another deep state fake food ploy (just in case you do enjoy an occasional bat).

Will it help if I wash my hands? Why start washing your hands now? Actually, you don’t ever need to wash your hands.

How about one of those face masks? Only if you want to look like Tape Face (which is why I sometimes wear one).

What about love in this time of Covid-19? As Indiana Spike himself might say, “There’s no better time to enjoy unprotected sex (with your legal wife/husband and only with him/her) than today.” Unless of course you mean something else by love. Like stupid love.